we all know the state of affairs of the world.
In case you live in a cave, the gist of it is.......
governments = money = death.
The world is pretty easy to figure out from here on, if you understand the basics ( as shown by the equation above).
The governments of the world operate in a simplistic manner.
it goes like this,
The American government, cons its people into submission,( Clinton and his sexcapade, Bush and his lies....oooohhhh BAAAAddddd Bush! , very convincing and now the village people are voting for Hillary, GO FIGURE!)
The Arab Government, Beats its people into submission,( mistreatment of its lower classes, women etc)
The singapore Government, Confuses its people into submission ( Remember how they said GST was good for us? Yup, i dont understand it either, and i've a Degree! )
The Malaysian Government , Confuses its people into submission and in the end , They end up confusing themselves. (Favourite fallback slogan-Singapore did it)
The Indonesian Government, Bribes its people into submission. ( uh ha , we know what that means)
The indian Government, Misleads its people into submission (Favourite fallback slogan- The Paki did it)
The European Government, Too drunk to bother doing any of the above to the people ( The people are drunk too)
The Australian Government, They are too confused themselves as a lot to confuse anybody else. ( They hate the crown and yet Piss in their pants to go there when given the opportunity, They detest the Americans and yet go goo goo ga ga when presented with anything american. eg the nuclear issue)
The Pakistani Government, Misleads themselves as well as the public into submission (Favourite fallback slogan- The Indians did it ).
The Thai Government, Misleads its people by blaming Thaksin (their ex leader) and if all fails blame it on Singapore. The result - Long picket line outside The singapore embassy. see above picture.
So how do you fix it? (SEEMINGLY)
Simple , throw United nations into it, for one.
The will Vehemently Condemn The actions of the Countries in Fault.
Then they will Draft Sanctions (maybe after a million years).
Maybe throw in a couple of inspectors as a bonus ( we all know how that worked for IRAQ).
After That when all else seems hopeless, The Americans Will ride in, like the cowboys they are.
Woohooo they will save the day and perhaps ride into the sunset after, After they have plundered, oops sorry i meant SAVED the day.
Then what? , They will send in more cowboys.
So what is the UN doing all this while? Strongly opposing everybodys actions.
What about NATO? ( dont even go there)
So is it all fixed? No not yet. You forgot about the people.
what are they doing?
Busy picketing, Striking, etc.
It aint working people!!.
They think we are all dumb.
The only Government i respect so far is the Singapore GOVT.
They might be tough,
They might seem like they are ASS$#@*s
But hey They really hold out their own against the other ASS&^%$s
They are still doing something for their people.(better than nothing)
For all you cynics out there , Singapore was one of the Very few Countries out there that
didn't buy Bad Bush's reasons for attacking Iraq.
Look at The Malaysians, What do they do?
They blame Singapore For a variety of Problems( creative bunch)
They blame the floods on singapore.
They Blame the water shortages on Singapore.
They blame Singapore for reasons from A pimple on their asses to the weather.
eg.
The press: So what caused the rampant flooding in your state?
Johor Menteri Besar ( loosely translated as the big honcho) : Singapore! ( pointing at singapore in the background)
The press : So what are you going to do about it.
Johor Menteri Besar : eeeerrrmmm we severely condemn singapore's actions
The Press : oooohhhh Singapore BAD!!!
Johor Menteri Besar : yeah and i ask for world peace!
MALAYSIAN HEADLINES nxt day
Menteri besar says singapore is to blame for ALL our problems and plus There is no world peace because of them.
Really guys, what started all this? Ask yourselves that.
I reckon it started with Fish and chips.
Really, i am not kidding!
The Brits LOOOOvvveeee their chips.
So when they run out of it, what do they do?
They Come to india.
The royal Beggars Emptied out the country ( while Sipping their Tea, eating scones and Glorifying their national heirloom/pride- The spotted Dick)
The created/encouraged segration in the country using their military tactics, To divide and conquer and then separated India and pakistan for good measure...Now India, that is one country that has really gone to the dogs.
What they found there was riches beyond their wildest imagination but sadly no chips so they left.
They did this to other countries including asia and lastly, defeated they came back home.
By then the world was screwed By these Royal SPOTTED DICKS....pun intended
Fast forward to the present
THE People Crave CHIPS and no solution to the problem at hand...they were running out of Chips.
Soon the solution presented itself.
The Israelies.
the conversation went.
Israelies - The palestinians are really pissing us off so why dont we bomb them
Americans - NO NO you cant do that! UN will seriously Condemn our actions
The British - Would you like a cup of tEA?
The Israelies - OK tell you what, We BOMB you Then you Bomb Iraq, Then When everyones busy we Bomb Palestine.
Americans - Oh , OK....eeerrrmmm So who bombs who again?
The israelies - Dont Know I cant remember.
The British - How about Some Spotted Dick?
The israelies - Sorry No Dicks, They arent Kosher.
The americans - Why dont we ask OSAMA.
OSAMA - aaaaaahhhh sorry my turbans on too tight i couldnt hear a thing.
The americans - we give you a plane and you can go on a joyride.
Osama - ok, sounds cool
ISRAELIES - hehehehe
Ther rest we know is history, osama (purportedly, we never know) flew the plane and halfway thru his turban came undone and blinded him and he crashed into the twin towers.
THE brits - ummmm ...we still dont have chips
The americans - tell you what , follow us into iraq and maybe, just maybe we might throw some chips your way.
The brits - ok...lets go cowboy.
ISRAELIES, meanwhile are kicking the palestinians, and the palestinians are kicking Each other while the Brits Still Have no chips and here comes a new cowboy in town, The HERO of the muslim world , The iranians.
Now the Iranians , are a smart Bunch!
They mislead Their Public using the POOR POOR US against The DEMON/ANTI CHRIST America card ( while beating the crap out of their women folk).
meanwhile.......
THE UN - we vehemently protest against YOU.
The saudis are the coolest People. I mean look at them. They hammer the crap out of their Country folk for drinking alcohol. Stealing etc.
So they pass down sentences on them while Sipping cognac on their yachts.
Cognac on one hand and a Tasbih on the other.
Now aint that cool?
I don't know man, i am a muslim and all but seriously, these guys managed to figure out a loop hole in the Quran. Must be .
It has to be true. Cause i looked and i looked and seriously i could'nt find anything that says You CAN DRINK alcohol.
They must be reading something else man ! or else they must be really smart people.
( check Out Your nearest PUB, You will find an arab drinking alcohol and reading the tasbih at the same time)
YOU know whats really cool?
They paid the Americans with black gold to fight the war for them!
Cool guys.
I really am confused, just like the rest of the world.
The Israelies are screwing their own people,
The Palestinians Are still Getting Screwed By everyone else and for good measure they decided to screw each other,
The american Public is still screwed ( never got Better, It was all packaging and marketing)
The arabs, in the meantime are building Dubailand and god knows what.
The brits are still screwing their own public
And guess what?
STILL NO CHIPS!
The world's a mess i tell ya.
All because of Fish and chips.
latest Update, The British Government has officially anounced that chips were never a problem.
IT was THE UN that lied to us.
I SERIOUSLY PROTEST THAT!
SANCTION THE BUGGERS!!
In case you live in a cave, the gist of it is.......
governments = money = death.
The world is pretty easy to figure out from here on, if you understand the basics ( as shown by the equation above).
The governments of the world operate in a simplistic manner.
it goes like this,
The American government, cons its people into submission,( Clinton and his sexcapade, Bush and his lies....oooohhhh BAAAAddddd Bush! , very convincing and now the village people are voting for Hillary, GO FIGURE!)
The Arab Government, Beats its people into submission,( mistreatment of its lower classes, women etc)
The singapore Government, Confuses its people into submission ( Remember how they said GST was good for us? Yup, i dont understand it either, and i've a Degree! )
The Malaysian Government , Confuses its people into submission and in the end , They end up confusing themselves. (Favourite fallback slogan-Singapore did it)
The Indonesian Government, Bribes its people into submission. ( uh ha , we know what that means)
The indian Government, Misleads its people into submission (Favourite fallback slogan- The Paki did it)
The European Government, Too drunk to bother doing any of the above to the people ( The people are drunk too)
The Australian Government, They are too confused themselves as a lot to confuse anybody else. ( They hate the crown and yet Piss in their pants to go there when given the opportunity, They detest the Americans and yet go goo goo ga ga when presented with anything american. eg the nuclear issue)
The Pakistani Government, Misleads themselves as well as the public into submission (Favourite fallback slogan- The Indians did it ).
The Thai Government, Misleads its people by blaming Thaksin (their ex leader) and if all fails blame it on Singapore. The result - Long picket line outside The singapore embassy. see above picture.
So how do you fix it? (SEEMINGLY)
Simple , throw United nations into it, for one.
The will Vehemently Condemn The actions of the Countries in Fault.
Then they will Draft Sanctions (maybe after a million years).
Maybe throw in a couple of inspectors as a bonus ( we all know how that worked for IRAQ).
After That when all else seems hopeless, The Americans Will ride in, like the cowboys they are.
Woohooo they will save the day and perhaps ride into the sunset after, After they have plundered, oops sorry i meant SAVED the day.
Then what? , They will send in more cowboys.
So what is the UN doing all this while? Strongly opposing everybodys actions.
What about NATO? ( dont even go there)
So is it all fixed? No not yet. You forgot about the people.
what are they doing?
Busy picketing, Striking, etc.
It aint working people!!.
They think we are all dumb.
The only Government i respect so far is the Singapore GOVT.
They might be tough,
They might seem like they are ASS$#@*s
But hey They really hold out their own against the other ASS&^%$s
They are still doing something for their people.(better than nothing)
For all you cynics out there , Singapore was one of the Very few Countries out there that
didn't buy Bad Bush's reasons for attacking Iraq.
Look at The Malaysians, What do they do?
They blame Singapore For a variety of Problems( creative bunch)
They blame the floods on singapore.
They Blame the water shortages on Singapore.
They blame Singapore for reasons from A pimple on their asses to the weather.
eg.
The press: So what caused the rampant flooding in your state?
Johor Menteri Besar ( loosely translated as the big honcho) : Singapore! ( pointing at singapore in the background)
The press : So what are you going to do about it.
Johor Menteri Besar : eeeerrrmmm we severely condemn singapore's actions
The Press : oooohhhh Singapore BAD!!!
Johor Menteri Besar : yeah and i ask for world peace!
MALAYSIAN HEADLINES nxt day
Menteri besar says singapore is to blame for ALL our problems and plus There is no world peace because of them.
Really guys, what started all this? Ask yourselves that.
I reckon it started with Fish and chips.
Really, i am not kidding!
The Brits LOOOOvvveeee their chips.
So when they run out of it, what do they do?
They Come to india.
The royal Beggars Emptied out the country ( while Sipping their Tea, eating scones and Glorifying their national heirloom/pride- The spotted Dick)
The created/encouraged segration in the country using their military tactics, To divide and conquer and then separated India and pakistan for good measure...Now India, that is one country that has really gone to the dogs.
What they found there was riches beyond their wildest imagination but sadly no chips so they left.
They did this to other countries including asia and lastly, defeated they came back home.
By then the world was screwed By these Royal SPOTTED DICKS....pun intended
Fast forward to the present
THE People Crave CHIPS and no solution to the problem at hand...they were running out of Chips.
Soon the solution presented itself.
The Israelies.
the conversation went.
Israelies - The palestinians are really pissing us off so why dont we bomb them
Americans - NO NO you cant do that! UN will seriously Condemn our actions
The British - Would you like a cup of tEA?
The Israelies - OK tell you what, We BOMB you Then you Bomb Iraq, Then When everyones busy we Bomb Palestine.
Americans - Oh , OK....eeerrrmmm So who bombs who again?
The israelies - Dont Know I cant remember.
The British - How about Some Spotted Dick?
The israelies - Sorry No Dicks, They arent Kosher.
The americans - Why dont we ask OSAMA.
OSAMA - aaaaaahhhh sorry my turbans on too tight i couldnt hear a thing.
The americans - we give you a plane and you can go on a joyride.
Osama - ok, sounds cool
ISRAELIES - hehehehe
Ther rest we know is history, osama (purportedly, we never know) flew the plane and halfway thru his turban came undone and blinded him and he crashed into the twin towers.
THE brits - ummmm ...we still dont have chips
The americans - tell you what , follow us into iraq and maybe, just maybe we might throw some chips your way.
The brits - ok...lets go cowboy.
ISRAELIES, meanwhile are kicking the palestinians, and the palestinians are kicking Each other while the Brits Still Have no chips and here comes a new cowboy in town, The HERO of the muslim world , The iranians.
Now the Iranians , are a smart Bunch!
They mislead Their Public using the POOR POOR US against The DEMON/ANTI CHRIST America card ( while beating the crap out of their women folk).
meanwhile.......
THE UN - we vehemently protest against YOU.
The saudis are the coolest People. I mean look at them. They hammer the crap out of their Country folk for drinking alcohol. Stealing etc.
So they pass down sentences on them while Sipping cognac on their yachts.
Cognac on one hand and a Tasbih on the other.
Now aint that cool?
I don't know man, i am a muslim and all but seriously, these guys managed to figure out a loop hole in the Quran. Must be .
It has to be true. Cause i looked and i looked and seriously i could'nt find anything that says You CAN DRINK alcohol.
They must be reading something else man ! or else they must be really smart people.
( check Out Your nearest PUB, You will find an arab drinking alcohol and reading the tasbih at the same time)
YOU know whats really cool?
They paid the Americans with black gold to fight the war for them!
Cool guys.
I really am confused, just like the rest of the world.
The Israelies are screwing their own people,
The Palestinians Are still Getting Screwed By everyone else and for good measure they decided to screw each other,
The american Public is still screwed ( never got Better, It was all packaging and marketing)
The arabs, in the meantime are building Dubailand and god knows what.
The brits are still screwing their own public
And guess what?
STILL NO CHIPS!
The world's a mess i tell ya.
All because of Fish and chips.
latest Update, The British Government has officially anounced that chips were never a problem.
IT was THE UN that lied to us.
I SERIOUSLY PROTEST THAT!
SANCTION THE BUGGERS!!
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